i'm grumpy and tired. but its my fault, because i'm still awake. i haven't had much to say lately, because well.. i haven't had much to say. i think working in the mornings is killing me. maybe work is killing me in general.

its carissa's birthday tomorrow and i'm not going to be there. poor me. i bought lots of makeup. and its very nice. i don't think i feel like sleeping. i feel like going for a walk. but i can't, because its too late. i always had the idea that a person who doesn't do the things they want 'just in case' something happens is already a victim any way. i guess that means i'm going against my to-hell-with-psychos policy. or maybe i'm just too lazy to put on a coat and shoes. or maybe by the time i got outside, i would change my mind and be tired again.

sometimes i wish i were a man. not for the walking at night thing, but for the things people say that make me angry. make me coffee, women should stay at home, keep foreign body parts out of your mouth, you could be a travel agent barbie. grr. do all men, including the 'nice guys' think asshole thoughts that they just don't say? because i wouldn't say any of these people are jerks themselves. which makes what they say worse. when assholes say asshole things, they're just, well, assholes. when nice guys say asshole things, what are they?

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