went to blaine's wedding. it wasn't even half as weird as i thought it would be. my sister was a bride's maid. one that didn't get all that much sleep the night before. ceremony was good. short and sweet.

i saw carissa today. we went shopping for a dress, i saw her new apartment. her and conrad are a real couple now, with their own place. they have pictures of themselves together in frames. it was kind of.. not scary? but strange. i remember when carissa thought i was the crazy one for having real relationships. she was never going to get married. she was never going to love anyone. she was more jaded then i was. i at least left room for the possibility that something could happen in the future. she was in denial. i guess i never really had any time to adjust to it. she went straight from playing games and running away from anything to real to this long term thing. i remember when she told me about conrad, and i thought it was nice. nice. but not permanent. not that there is a problem with permanent, but it was so soon and unexpected. and then the 'l' word. i'm happy for her, i'm glad she found someone so good for her. it just took me off guard and now its been almost 2 years and i've finally realized they're really together. for good, or at least for a long time.

that, and blaine's wedding on the same day was a lot. its funny how things change so fast and so permanently. at the reception 'you look wonderful tonight' played, and blaine came over to ask me to dance. i said "i love this song" half to myself. he said "i know" half to himself. and we danced. i don't regret anything, and i don't have any feelings for him any more, but it really left an impression about life and how delicately everything is balanced, and how one day you can say something or do something that changes everything forever.

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