i don't know what to do anymore. you're right. everything that can go wrong will and everything that isn't already wrong is just deception, circumstantial or a combination thereof.

what does commitment mean to you any way? you state things as fact and you muse about your life outloud saying whatever strikes you at the time or whatever you think people want to hear. then you don't understand, or you scorn other people for taking it for face value. you change every day. maybe i do, too. well, no. i'm pretty much the same. i've never taken back anything i've said to you and i never regretted anything and i don't have any hidden agenda.

what would make me happy? ... i don't know. i guess all or nothing. you just blurt things out for your own amusement. because they seem interesting at the time, or they fit into your mold of what you think grown-ups do or say. when in reality, you have no right to say or do those things because you're just a child who dreams fantastical dreams about what he'll say or do when he grows up.

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