oh this is so hard. i've never been in this position before and i really hate it. and now i know how other people feel. i want to call, but i can't. some people are telling me i should and there is no harm in clarification, but other people are telling me that he's an ass and doesn't deserve me and i don't deserve this and i think i'm inclined to agree. but i don't think i'm strong enough. i need someone to supervise me at all times so that i don't do something stupid.

i wonder what he's doing or thinking. maybe he's having a hard time like i am. maybe he's having a great time and feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. maybe he already has someone else in mind. maybe i'm being ridiculous. maybe i've lost my mind...

1. What was the last song you heard? That aemon song, "I don't want you back" or whatever its called. Like the song, don't like hearing it 5 times a day every day. That's getting old.

2. What were the last two movies you saw? Ocean's Eleven was the last one. February 28th, wow that seems like it was just yesterday but it was last month. And um, Backdraft. Whenever that was, don't remember. It was on TV.

3. What were the last three things you purchased? Ah, purchases. If we count *everything* that would be a 7-up last night, McDonalds for breakfast yesterday, and an apple juice in the morning yesterday. If we only count fun stuff, that would be my shoes (more detail in previous entries), and my oil of olay soap and shower puff.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Oh my goodness. Well, tonight I need to go out for my last day party. And I need to get drunk. Does that count as one or two? Tomorrow I need to go to school. I think I'm going to Calgary this weekend and I need to relax and return to sanity.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Well, the obvious and boring answer would be people that I work with. Shannon, Lynette, John, Peter, and Amanda. If we want to spice up the answer and make it a little more exciting, the last friends or whatever outside of work that I talked to were my mom, my two sisters, my brother and dale, but that was all in an hour and a half.

unconcious mutterings:
• Dogma:: Alannis Morrisette
• Spirit:: life, liveliness
• Voodoo:: "that you do so well, hell..." - salt and peppa
• Demon:: skeletons in the closet, demons
• Digital:: camera
• Ceremony:: wedding
• Research:: paper
• Career:: * it, stupid priorities
• Penis:: ? what?
• Film:: black and white

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